Nam aankhein

Barfeeli hawa..tez baarish...raat ka waqt..ek soonsaan si jagah..bas ped paudhe ghaans aur in sab ke beech akela baitha hua..main..

Baitha hua tha apne sir ko apne ghutnon pe rakhe hue..baarish ki is awaaz mein mere rone ki awaaz nahin aa rahi thi..baarish ke in boondon mein mere aansun dikh nahin rahe the..main udaas tha..

Bahut chhoti si umar se humesha jo chaha hai paaya hai..jis chiz ke baare mein socha hai bas use paa ke hi maana hai..kabhi kisi chij ke saamne jhuka nahin hun..par aaj jab chizein bilkul bhi waisi nahin hai jaisi chahta hun..toh ye aansu rok nahin paaya..dil se kisi chij ke liye kuchh karo aur uske baas woh chiz bas tum se mooh mod le toh shayad in aansuon ki bhi koi galti nahin hai..aaj toota hua mehsoon kar raha tha..haara hua..aisa nahin hai pehle kabhi gira nahin hun..humesha utha hun..aur uske baad bhi poori koshish kari hai..par jab zindagi ke sur isi tez
baarish ki tarah shor jaise lagein toh kuchh achha nahin lagta..

Inhi khayalon ke beech baithe hue main rota raha..bheegta raha..thand mein ,sehma hua, dara hua...man kar raha tha ki koi aaye,gale lagaye..mujhe bole ki sab kuchh thik hoga..sab achha hoga...par shayad is baar chot kuchh zyada gehri thi..

Waqt guzra..aansu thame..kabhi phir bade kabhi phir thame..baarish bhi meri aansuon ki tarah thodi halki hui..hawa thodi kam thandi hui..shayad waqt ke saath, isi mausam ki tarah aansu khud hi tham jaate hain..dard khud hi kam ho jaata hai..man udaas tha...gala bhi rondha hua tha..par ab aansu nahin tha..main apne aap ko samajha raha tha..Main janta tha ki mujhe inhi chizon ke saath hi rehna hia..main inse bhaag nahin sakta..aur shayaad isi umeed se ki kisi din isi hawa,isi baarish mein main muskura raha hunga,meri aankehin nam hui,main utha aur baarish mein bheegte bheegte wapips gaya usi duniya mein jahan mujhe rehna hai..

Hum hain rahi pyaar ke

(Throughout this post I will write my experiences,this is not at all anything that is applicable to all of you..Everyone might have different opinions..I am just one of you who is sharing his thoughts.. )

Love, friendships and relationships become BIG for people of my 'age' -'teenage'..Often the teenagers are attracted towards someone 'special' and most of us end up fallng in love with this 'attraction'..The feeling of being in 'love' is immensly satisfying..First love, first crush, first relationship is something we all cherish, something we are excited about when we take the first step towards them..

Well nothing is wrong in loving someone else..Nothing is wrong in feeling good about others..But as teenagers, in my opinion we do give these feelings a lot more importance than they are worth..In my opinion we give importance to this 'feeling' rather than the person for whom it is meant..In simple words we are in love much more with 'feeling of being is love' rather the person..No doubt their ought to be some amount of likeness that you have for that person,some amount of love you have for him/her, but most of us mistake that intial attraction, that initial feeling of likeness as the ultimate love..As love which is the true love..

When we enter relationships most of us end up loosing our own-self just to impress others..We give importance to relationship much more than our morals, more than our beliefs..We are ready to even compromise on our beliefs, on our thoughts if we know that this will help the bond to become stronger..In simple words, we just go with the flow of teenage love..Other than this, there comes large amount of expectations when you love someone..Your love becomes possesive..You want him/her to be YOURS and ONLY YOURS..You dont like seeing him/her with others..You want him/her by your side, always..Rather that loving, you start 'demanding' that person..

With time may of these relatinships break because of misunderstanding..Some go sour and keep on reviving every now and then..Some do gain a lot of maturity as the faith and love increases with every moment passing..

Having given opinion about what i have experienced, seen and felt..I would like to add that this experience is definitely an experience of a lifetime..In these teenage relationships you do things that you will actually not even imagine in your dreams..You will do everything to have that person on your side..You wont compromise on anything..You become a child, a parent, a lover, a teenager and everything..You become cute, innocent but you are still possesive and protective..

Many a times i feel that many of the problems occur because our habit of taking things too seriously, our possesiveness and expectations in a relationship ..But as humans we are bound to make mistakes..We are bound to have these things within us..But as humans also we can try to realise our mistake and try to minimise them..

So,in simple short form..If you have ever been in a relationship and have seen it ending in a BAD way..In a way you would not have liked it to..The only reason is that it had to happen and it happened for the good..The relationship did give you a lot of reasons to smile amd laugh, and you can always remember it was something good rather than something to cry over..

So all my buddies out there who have seen a bad side of relationship, if the relationship gave you hours of cries then it did also give you months of joys..

Be happy about these small,cute , innocent and immature(no offences) relationships..They are not worth your tears...!!! And as i said..hum hain rahi pyar ke..chalna apna kaam..!!!

Life is beautiful..Enjoy..!!!

'Meri dosti,mera pyaar'

(This post is written with no aim, nothing..Just a simple recollection of my feelings)

Main nahin janta pyaar kya hota hai...pyar kise kehte hain..pyar ehsaas hai, deewangi hai,rishta hai ya phir bas pyar hai..kya hai ..main nahin janta..par haan shayad kuchh khaas hai...!

Aisa kyun hota hai ki hum pyaar mein haar jeet dhoondne lagte hain ?? Aisa kyun hota hai ki hume doosri taraf se bhi utna pyaar chahiye, utna nahin toh pyaar kyun chahte hain ?? Aisa kyun hota hai ki hum doosre ki zindagi mein chha jaana chahte hain ?? Mujhe nahin pata aisa kyun hota hai..par shayad aisa hota..

Mujhe humesha aisa laga hai ki sirf pyar mein hi nahin..humari zindagi mein hume logon ki nazron mein achha dikhna hota hai..hume chahte hain ki saamne waala hume chahe..hum chahte hain ki saamne wale mujhe achha samjhe..behatereen samjhe..shayad hum auron ki nazron mein achha banna chahte hain...aur shayad ye sab karne ke liye hum kuchh nahin sochte..humare liye kya sahi,kya galat,kya achha aur kya bura hai..ye sab toh shayad yaad bhi nahin rehta..

Jis umar mein main hun..shayad is umar mein humare bahut se rishte bante hain..judte hain.. bahut se log humare kareeb ate hain..

Is kareebiyar mein, in rishton mein jo ek galti hoti hai..jo maine toh kari hai woh hai ki hum khud ko badalte hain doosron ke liye..hum doosre jaisa hume dekhna chahte hain waise bante hain..hum woh karte hain jaisa woh hume dekhna chahte hain..aur shayad hum aisa karte karte pyaar ki sundarta, uski innocence kho dete hain..pyaar mein jo jaisa hai,waisa hota hai..pyaar se hum bahut kuchh seekhte hain,par hum pyaar mein bahut kuchh karte hain jisse hum doosre ki nazar mein upar uthte chahe woh humare liye galat bhi ho..


hume ek pyaar aur dosti ke rishte mein haar jeet nahin laani chahiye..agar koi apke liye sabse khaas hai toh zaroori nahin woh bhi apko utni ahmiyat de..haan man lalchi hota hai..woh yeh chahta hai..par hume ye maan lena chahiye ki shayad uski zindagi mein hum utne khaas nahin hain..koi aur hai jo humse khaas hai..humse zyada zaroori hai..hum unhe pyaar de sakte hain, lene ke liye majboor toh nahin kar sakte..


Inhi dosti aur pyaar ke rihston mein hum bade hote hain..bahut kuchh seekhte hain..aur logon se..unki khoobiyan, unka sahara aur unka pyaar humara khud pe vishwaas pe badta hai...

Dosti aur pyaar bade hi pyaare rishte hain..jin logon ko aap chahte hain..unke liye pyaar kam mat kijiye..aur jinhe nahin chahte, unhe bhi pyaar dijiye..pyaar dene se badta hi hai..kam kabhi nahin hota..kya pata koi apko utna pyaar kare jitna aapne shayad zindagi mein nahin kiya hoga ?? Shayad aisa bhi ho sakta hai ki apko koi utna pyaar karta ho jitna aap kisi aur se chahte hain..par shayad aap dekh nahin paa rahe kyunki aap dekhna nahin chahte..

Love has hope..hatred is hopeless..!

Yehi thi kuchh seedhi saadi chhoti moti baatein..jo maine seekhi..

Dedicated to all my friends..! I need you all..!

Ankur

You and me..part-2

(Rehmaan aur riya..dono hi sadharan se log hain..dono bahut hi saadharan se parivaar se hain…dono ki umar kuchh 24-25 saal ki hai..ghar paas hain par alag mahaulle mein rehte hain…Dono ek hi jagah kaam karte hain..kaam ke baad ghar tak jaane ke safar mein saath saath kuchh rasta tay karte hain..kabhi kabhi baatein karne baith jaate hain..kabhi aur logon ke saath ghoomne bhi nikale hain..Kaafi dino se saath rahein hain.. )

(Dono ek park mein baithe hain..kuchh sham ke saat ,sade saath baje hain..roshini nahin hai..bas aas paas ke gharon ki lighton se jo roshini aa rahi hai, usi mein ek doosre ka chehra dekh ke baate kar rahe hain..ek doosre ke saamne baithe hain .. )

Rehmaan- Aj jab un palon ke baare mein sochta hun jo hum dono ne saath bitaayein hain..toh bas muskurata hun…kabhi kabhi rob hi padta hun..lagta hai bas kabhi aise pal wapis aayein..jab tumhare saath baith ke araam se baat ho..ye kabhi kabhi hi aj ke jaise office se jaldi chhutti milti hai..nahin toh tumhare se toh baat bahut dino se nahin ho payi hai..

(ye kehte kehte Rehmaan ki awaaz thodi fat si jaati..uska gal rondh gaya ho jaise..aankhein so aansu nahin aye hain par..rehmaan zameen ki taraf dekhta hai ..aankhein milane ki himmat nahin hai uski..)

Riya- Mujhe bhi bahut afsos raha hai ki shayad tumhari madad nahin kar paati jitni kar sakti hun..tumhare chehre pe man karta hai bas waisi muskaan dekhun jo jab hum sab shimla gaye the waisi thi..utna khush toh tum ajkal nahin dikhte..bas..waisi kuchh khushi tumhe daina chahti hun..par de nahin paayi kabhi..ajkal bahut pareshan lagte ho..man karta hai office mein baar baar tumhare paas aun aur poochhun ki kyun pareshan ho ? par phir lagta hai ki office waale galat samjhenge…shayad usi dar se main aa nain paati..par aj toh waqt hai..please mujhe batao ki kya hua hai ?? tumhe kya baat itne dino se sata rahi hai ? rehmaan..bharosa rakho mujhpe..main jitni madad kar sakti hun karungi..

(Rehmaan chehra upar karke riya ki aankhon mein dekhta hai..aankhon se aansu aakhir nikal jaate hain..rehmaan phir sir neeche karta hai..rumaal nikalke un aansuon ko poonchhta hai..)

Riya- Rehmaan..ladke hokar rote ho… ??

(Riya mazaak mein kehti hai….shayad mahaul ko thoda light rakhne ke liye..Rehmaan bhi ek baar ko muskura padta hai..)

Rehmaan- Kambhakt aansu..Ruk hi nahin paaye jab tum dilaasa de rahi thi..saath dene ka ashvaashan de rahi thi..pyar jhalak raha tha tumhari baaton mein..riya..pata nahin ki tum janti ya nahin..par haan riya..haan..main tumse pyaar karne lage hun..kabse aur kyun ? main nahin jaanta. .par dil se chahta hun ki tumhe khush rakhun…tumhare saath waqt bitaaun…baatein karun…kuchh aise pal maine tumhare saath guzaarein hain..woh itne dil ke kareeb hain..unke liye khuda ka shurkiyada karta hun..par aur bitana chahta hun..jab bhi tumhe dekhta hun..bas..lagta hai waqt tham jaaye..sabki nazron se churakar tumse kahin jaa kar baatein karun..tumhe bataun ki tumhe kitna chahta hun………..

(kehte kehte rehmaan rone laga…ye baatein sunke riya bhi apne aansu rok na paayi…dono ek doosre ke saamne rote hain..)

Riya-….jaanti hun Rehmaan ..jaanti hun..ye cheezein batani zaroori nahin hoti..tumhe kya lagta hai main tumhe pyaar nahin karti ? kyun na karun..jab tum itna khayal rakhte ho..ek achhe iraadeon wale wyakti dil se dikhte ho..toh tumhe pyar kyun na karun ?? par..main bebas thi Rehmaan..main kuchh soch nahin paayi ki is chij ka saamna kaise karungi..dil mein dar sa lagta tha kuchh bhi sochti thi toh..kuchh bhi..shayad isliye chup rahi..

(Riya apna haath rehmaan ke haath pe rakhti hai..thodi der baad rehmaan rona band kar deta hai..)

Rehmaan-Riya..pata nahin..mujhe bhi ek ajeeb sa dar satata tha..lagta hai tumse pyaar karke main galti toh nahin kari ..?? tumse pyaar karke main kuchh galat toh nahin kar raha ?? dil zor zor se dhadakne lagta tha jab bhi tumhare baare mein sochta tha..par phir khuda pe vishwaas tha..laga pyar janbhooz ke toh nahin kiya..tumse pyaar ho gaya..kabse karta hun main to ye bhi nahin janta..bas..yehi sochke man ko samjhaya hai..riya…hum apni jagah thik hain..please rona band karo..

(riya..sir hilati hai..aur thodi der baad chup ho jaati hai..)

Riya-….Rehmaan..pata nahin..tum ise kya samjhoge…par dil se kahun toh tumme mujhe ek saathi dikhta hai..ek sahara..ek pyaar..ek wyaqti jiske saath dil karta hai waqt bitaane ke…man karta hai bas zindagi bhar hum baate karte rahein..

(Rehmaan thodi der ke liye kuchh nahin kehta..)

Rehmaan- Aj ek khuskhabri deni thi..meri tankhwa bad gayi hai..mujhe ab 8 ki jagah 10 hazaar rupay mahina milenge..

(Riya muskuraati hai..rehmaan ki aankhon mein khushi dekh ke khush hoti hai..)

Riya- Chalo man ko sunkar khushi hui..

Rehmaan-…jaanta hun..ki abhi tankhwah zyada nahin hai..par jis din lagega..ki kuchh kamane layak bana hun..kuchh kaabil bana hun..us din tumhara haath tumhare abbu jaan se zaroor maangunga..jaanta hun ki humare majhab alag hain..jaanta hun..par pyaar sacha hai..par pyaar sacha hai…hum saath hain riya..hum saath hain..tumhe mujhme ek sahara dikhta hai na..main woh sahara banke dikhaunga..woh saathi banke dikhaaunga…
(Riya ki aankhein nam ho jaati hain…..rehmaan usko haath pakad ke uthata hai…dono gale milte hain…)

Riya- Bas mere paas rehna Rehmaan..phir saari mushkile asaan ho jayengi…………


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Love is above materialism...above everything...love is love...!!!!


Comments and suggestions...Requested....!!!

main aur mera jahaan..!

मैं और मेरा जहान
'वो जो कर रहा है..वो सही नहीं ..वो गलत है ..उसे ऐसा नहीं करना चाहिए..' ये विचार मेरे मन में आया..
अकेले बैठा अपने कमरे में अपने एक दोस्त के लिए के रहा था..नाराज़ था..उसने कुछ ऐसे काम किये थे जो
मुझे अच्छे नहीं लगे..मुझे सही नहीं लगे..वोह काम गलत थे ..कोई ज़रुरत नहीं थी उनकी..बैठा अकेले
अपने कमरे में अपने दोस्त को कोसता रहा ..
धीरे धीरे अपने ख्याल में खो गया..क्या करता अगर मैं उसकी जगह होता..क्या वोह अपनी जगह ठीक है..
शायद वो कभी समझ ही नहीं पाया की मैं कौन हूँ..शायद उसके लिए मैं वोह नहीं हूँ जो मैं असल में
हूँ..शायद उससे कभी वैसी बातें हुई नहीं जो मेरी सच्चाई को दर्शाए ..शायद मैं खुद भी नहीं जानता
था की मैं उसकी ज़िन्दगी में क्या अहमियत रखता हूँ..शायद मैं खुद को खुद ही नहीं जानता था...कौन हूँ
मैं ? ये दुनिया क्यूँ है ? कुछ भी तो जवाब नहीं था मेरे पास...
तो फिर ये कह देना की उसका ऐसा करना गलत है ..शायद ये कह देना 'गलत' था..सही नहीं था..तभी बैठ
के सोचा की मेरे लिए दुनिया क्या है ?? मेरा घरबार..मेरे घरवाले..मेरे दोस्त..मेरे जान पहचाने वाले..जो जगह
मैंने देखी हुई हैं ..शायद मेरे ख्याल भी..अब जितनी मेरी समझ है उस हिसाब से मैं सही गलत तोलता हूँ..
अब शायद उसकी दुनिया अलग है..उसके लोग अलग है ..उसकी समझ अलग है...मेरी खुद की समझ
है..शायद अभी जो कह रहा हूँ वो आधे घंटे बाद कुच्छ और हो ..हर पल बदल रहा हूँ..हर पल 'मेरा जहाँ'
बदल रहा है..मैं कोई नहीं होता उसे गलत या सही कहने वाला..फिर सोचा अगर ऐसा है तो हर कोई अपनी जगह ठीक है ? शायद हाँ ..शायद ना..मैं नहीं जानता..पर इतना
ज़रूर लगा की मैं उनको गलत नहीं ठहरा सकता..मैं कोई नहीं हूँ ये कहने वाला ..
शायद एक चोर की मजबूरी हो चोरी करना..
शायद एक आतंकवादी वोह समझ नहीं सकता जो उसे लोग समझाते हैं..वो उसकी दुनिया है..उसके लिए वही सच है..
एक मानसिक रोगी के लिए जो वो कर रहा है वही दुनिया है ..शक्की लोगों के लिए उनकी दुनिया वही है..
फिर लगा अगर ऐसा है तोह फिर तोह दुनिया में कुछ गलत है ही नहीं..सब सही है..तो हम क्या कर सकते हैं ?
थोड़ी देर तक तो कुछ जवाब नहीं आया..
ऐसा लगा की मैं जानता ही नहीं कुछ..शायद ये सच था..जिस दिन मैंने ये सोचा की मैं कुछ जानता हूँ वहीँ
मैंने ठोकर खाई ..शायद मैं कुछ भी नहीं जानता..हाँ पर अच्छी बात शायद ये है की जानना चाहता हूँ...
समझना चाहता हूँ..अब यह इच्छा सही है या गलत..यह भी मैं नहीं जानता ..बस यह इच्छा है ज़रूर ..
अकेले बैठा..एक चीज जो ज़हन में आई थी..शायद ऐसा कुछ करूँ की किसी को दुःख ना पहुंचे ..किसी को बुरा
ना लगे..कभी ज़रूरी हुआ तो कुछ नहीं कर सकता...पर कोशिश येही कर सकता हूँ..
किसी के लिए बुरा ना सोचूं..जितना प्यार दे सकता हूँ दूँ ,क्यूंकि शायद मैं और कुछ कर ही नहीं सकता..किसी
के लिए बुरा सोचना ठीक नहीं है..क्यूंकि वोह व्यक्ति अपनी जगह सही है..

बैठा अकेले..ख्यालों में उलझता रहा...सही गलत ..समझ आया की ये इतना आसान नहीं है शायद जितना हम
बना देते हैं..किसी को दोषी ठहराना..किसी के लिए बुरा सोचना..सब खोखला है ..
मेरे ख्याल सुलझ तो नहीं पाए..पर एक चीज़ ज़रूर लगी..मेरी दुनिया मेरा जाहन अधूरा है ...मेरी दुनिया
सिर्फ मेरी है ..कोई और उसे नहीं समझ सकता..और शायद मैं किसी और की नहीं ..सही गलत. .मैं नहीं जानता ..
जानना भी नहीं चाहता..सवाल बहुत हैं..जवाब नहीं हैं...बस ये जानता हूँ..मेरी खोज जारी है ..!!!